Soft Apocalypse Panic

SYMPTOM PROFILE

You oscillate between baking banana bread and prepping for societal collapse. Existential dread is the new baseline. CNN meets tarot cards meets doom memes.

ENERGETIC DIAGNOSIS

Crown chakra flooded with contradictory data. Nervous system seesawing. Future shock fatigue detected.

PRESCRIBED DOSE

• Ground. Breathe. Drink water. No, really—hydrate like you mean it.
• Limit prophecy intake (news, social media, psychic spirals).
• Wear something talismanic to remind you: you're still here.

PROGNOSIS

The world might be ending softly, but your sanity doesn’t have to go with it. Rituals, boundaries, and high-grade ridiculousness = essential.